“I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.” – Oprah Winfrey
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes it feels like all you’re doing is saying the wrong things, making mistakes and placing judgments.
In those moments of despair, frustration, and stumble and fall – it’s easy to get down on yourself. To beat yourself to the ground. To pour salt in open wounds. To blame, throw punches and call yourself names.
Let’s face it.
It’s easy to love yourself when you’re being adored and cared for. It’s easy to love yourself when you say and do the right things. It’s easy to love yourself when you’re making progress and moving forward.
But, not so easy when things aren’t going as planned. When things fall apart. When you get rejected. When you let yourself down. When you let others down. When you aren’t showing up to the best of your capability.
It’s those moments, when everything seems dark and scary, that you’re faced with a choice:
The choose love or to choose fear.
When you blame yourself, you choose fear.
When you get down on yourself, you choose fear.
When you call yourself names and punish yourself, you choose fear.
Most of us choose fear by default. Without even thinking about it we’re there to criticize, blame and complain. To kick ourselves when we’re already laying down.
But, it’s in those moments, the moments when you feel like you least deserve love that you most need it.
So, when you struggle the most to love yourself – choose to love yourself even more.
When you’re feeling lonely and sad, choose to love yourself.
When you’re feeling shameful and embarrassed, choose to love yourself.
When you’re feeling resentful and judgmental, choose to love yourself.
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health – choose to love yourself. No matter how much you screw up. No matter how big your mistakes are. No matter how many chocolate chip cookies you eat or how much alcohol you drink. Choose to love yourself unconditionally.
Love yourself, not just because it feels better, but because you’re setting an example.
Love yourself, not just because you deserve it, but because you’re showing others how it’s done.
Love yourself, not just because it’s the right choice, but because it fuels faith, not fear, in a world that desperately depends on it.
Show up, be there and demonstrate love without conditions. Choose love like your life depends on it, because it does.
Photo cred: Sofie Stenmark, Model: Maria Stenvinkel
This was my first email of, hopefully, many uplifting ones and the one line in the email that i will try to live by is “Show up, be there and demonstrate love without conditions”
As to the question; In what situations do you need to be nicer to yourself?
Well, that took some deep thoughts and looking back at some hard decisions in life overall. But for me, I need to start being nicer to myself, when i chose to contemplate “what would have happened if I did/say/pick X instead of Y” instead of letting it all go and moving on knowing I did make the best decision.
Hi Dan,
Thanks for commenting – and yes, you can expect more uplifting emails! 😉
Very wise insight. Trusting that you’ve always done the best in every situation. And then knowing that you hold the power to move into the direction you desire in the future. No regrets – just learning and growing.
Have an amazing day!
Maria
Hi Maria,
Todays email came at the perfect time. It seems me and my daughter are being a little harsh on ourselves. We have a lot going on and it seems we do default back to fear. It looks easy on paper when you read what to do, but the physical part of actually “doing” is hard. When I tell us we need to pick love over fear, we get complimented on how strong we are as women and sometimes that’s just the little push we need to pay it forward. 🙂
Hi Rena!
Oh I’m so happy to hear that. And yes you’re so right, actually applying it is the hardest part. That’s why I’m writing these posts too to remind myself 😉 I loved reading the last part. Keep up the amazing work! xoxo
Så fint skrivet Maria!
Gulle dig Sara! 🙂