That’s the dream, right? Finding your life calling.
To wake up on purpose and with a mission. To know that you’re doing what you were put on this earth to do.
But, what if you feel far away from that dream today?
What if you’re in a job that pays well, but that doesn’t take you in the right direction? If you’ve thought about making a life change – you also know about the worry, fear, and frustration that comes with it…
This was the case for my client Yuliya. When we met, she had just quit her job to find her life calling. (Even though she didn’t know what that was yet).
Yuliya is one of the bravest young women I’ve ever met. Her determination and courage is extraordinary. I know my coaching program wasn’t always easy for her, but oh my, did she undertake a massive transformation. (Which is just the beginning of an even greater journey, I’m certain).
Today, I invited her to the blog to share her learnings. Make sure to leave a word of encouragement to this inspiring woman who’ll change the lives of many.
The floor is yours Yuliya…
What keeps you from finding your life calling
For the last 10 years, I’ve been working as IT specialist.
Good money, security, and fun at the office. Yet, I’ve been jealously listening to those who tell exciting stories about loving what they do.
Listening to someone who is so excited by their work forced me to think: “Why don’t I live that life?”
For 10 years I thought that the reason is that I don’t have a passion. You know, that fully consuming passion for some specific activity. Steve Jobs had it. Mark Zuckerberg too. Mozart and Bach obviously had it. But I didn’t.
I tried career programs. I did professional placement tests. They didn’t help. This is what I thought about my situation: “Nothing can ever help me because I simply don’t have any passions or talents. Therefore I am doomed.”
And that, in my opinion, is the biggest misconception and mistake which actually prevents us from living our dream.
After hearing about the concept of not looking for passion, but rather following my curiosities – things started to change.
Now I am leaving the IT world to pursue the areas of self-development and 2D animations. The whole journey is not yet revealed to me, but the first step is already on the horizon.
I am really doing it – I am changing my life.
It’s been a tough journey at times. I’ve freaked out, I’ve been overwhelmed and I’ve gotten sick. And I’ve doubted my sanity.
“This whole idea of changing my life is so delusional. What if it doesn’t work?? I have a normal life, many people would love to have it. It’s irrational!”.
But I knew that I can’t keep living a life where I hate my alarm clock. Every morning. For 10 years. The same story.
I will rather make an effort to change that and fail, than not do anything at all.
One day I simply decided to commit. And that’s why it worked.
So now when I know it’s possible, I would like to summarize what, in my opinion, stops people from finding their calling.
1. You don’t think you have one
I’ve heard it many times: “I want to change my life, but I don’t know to what”. Or: “I just need to find some brilliant, successful idea – and that idea will make me rich”. Or simply: “I don’t know what to do”.
We think that we first must find that one perfect passion, or that one perfect idea which will work as a charm and change our lives. But it couldn’t be further from the truth.
It’s about starting where you are and with what you know now (not what you think you might know tomorrow or next week). We are put on this earth for a specific reason and that reason is unveiled step-by-step, and never all at once. By simply following what excites us – we begin the journey.
Louise Hay wrote her first book in her flat. Steve Jobs started Apple in his parents’ garage. Walt Disney received 300 rejections on his Mickey Mouse idea and was fired by a newspaper for the lack of creativity.
Everyone who reached greatness started very small, and most could never have pictured what their small steps would lead up to. The key was that they just followed their curiosity.
2. You pressure yourself
Since I started my self-discovery journey I was pressuring myself daily:
“I should have figured out by now!” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not progressing?”
I was pressuring and judging myself so hard, that life forced me to take a break. This lead to a terrible flu, followed by a few complications, which put me to bed for a couple of weeks.
You can’t force your breakthrough. You can’t schedule it. It’s when you relax, let go and trust the process that clarity comes. Like it was waiting this whole time for you to make a little space for it to enter.
Relaxing, meditating, journaling and reflecting on ideas is not laziness (as I previously thought) – it’s actually a powerful action.
3. You reject ideas too quickly
Often when we have an exciting idea, we get all pumped up. But immediately after, fear steps in and we abandon it as “not being realistic” or “insignificant.”
This was my usual inner dialogue:
- Me: “I like to draw”
- Fear: “But you suck at it! You were never an extraordinary artist. And you never will be. Next!”
- Me: “I like languages!”
- Fear: “But how would that bring you any money? It can’t or it will be too little of an income. Next!”
- Me: “I want to travel a lot!”
- Fear: “Yeah yeah, everyone wants that, what has it got to do with your calling? Next!”
I’ve been doing it for far too long. It was when I got guidance and support that I stopped abandoning my ideas before they even had reached the surface.
So, let your ideas come out. Let each one of them have “a minute of fame” and a chance to live – and watch what happens.
4. You don’t think you can do it
If you’ve been doing the same thing for many years – it is really hard to change your mindset. I wanted to change really badly, but at the same time I didn’t believe I could do it.
“I’ve always been mediocre! I’ve never loved what I do! It’s so unreal, this elusive image of my future. So why now? How do I know I won’t fail?”
That’s the old programming speaking. It’s your old identity dying. That identity which associates itself with “always being mediocre and suffering“. That identity really can’t change anything.
But the “new you” can make that change. That new, talented you, which you’ve been hiding for years. That new you which is capable of anything.
So, stop focusing on what’s around you now – it’s already past tense. Shift your attention to what you want. In other words, try to focus less attention on your current reality, being realistic never helped anyone to make a breakthrough or set a new “unrealistic” record.
I know you can do it. Even reading such blogs as this one says that you are on your way.
5. You don’t spend time imagining
We’re so afraid of failure, that we don’t even dare to dream.
- Me: “I want to wake up enthusiastic every morning!”
- Fear: “Yeah, but what if it never comes? It’s not realistic.”
- Me: “I want the best relationship ever!”
- Fear: “Yeah, but it’s impossible, stop being delusional.”
If we don’t give ourselves permission to be successful in our head – then how can it become a reality?
So, dare to dream big. In your head, let yourself be the queen or a king of your kingdom. At least in your dreams, allow yourself to feel successful and happy. Let yourself smile and feel like a winner.
What do you have to lose? Worst case you’ll be happy in the process of dreaming and creating.
Yuliya went from shy to an empowered, confident woman. Now, she created a program to help other people who struggle with self-esteem and shyness. (She’s currently looking for people to try her program for free: “From shyness to confidence: Raising your self-esteem”). She also pursues the world of 2D animations. Check out her blog at yuliyaonline.com or send her an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Photo cred: Agnes Csernus (www.csernusphotography.com) Model: Yuliya Kovalchuk
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